Pun-icillin

Laughter is the best medicine, or so it has been said. As I'm still feeling rather icky, I decided to continue with the groaners and pun-ish you with some pun-etrating humor. (Hover your cursor next to the big A to see the answer!)

Q.) What do you call a flightless, aquatic bird who cracks jokes?
A.) A punguin

Q.) What do you call a polite, dapper man who tells jokes but smells horrible?
A.) Pungent

Q.) Why are pirates called pirates?
A.) Because they Arrrrgggghhh! (Were expecting another pun-inspired joke, weren't you? ~.^)

Q.) How many of each animal did Moses take on the Ark?
A.) None! Noah built the Ark.

Q.) Who was the most flexible man in the Bible?
A.) Balaam. He tied his ass to a tree and walked forty miles.

Okay, and one last joke to end this entry ....

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One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale's Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies,

"Well, sonny, I can't remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger."

The owner replies, "Well, let's see... Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?"

The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, "I want this color sonny."

To which Nathan replies, "Ma'am I'm sorry, but we don't have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?"

"No son, I want this color."

"But ma'am, they didn't make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?" says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.

By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about.

The secretary replies, "Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn!"