Thursday, January 4, 2007

Another Ear-relevant post

Have you ever had a notion that crept into your imagination and latched on with ticklish fingers of urging. A thought that gnawed at the back of your skull like a cute puppy with his favorite chew toy?

I get little ideas like that all the time. There is no cure, no relief from the mental itch they give until I act upon them. Fortunately my irresistible urges only take the form of creativeness or humor. Otherwise you'd open the paper one day and see my face staring out at you under a caption reading "Cereal Killer Caught; Remaining Kellogg's and General Mills Mascots Breathe Easy."

Well, that is what I always worried about when I heard things about serial killers as a little girl. I'd lay awake at night fretting over the fates of my beloved morning breakfast friends ... except for that rat bastard Barney who always tricked poor Fred out of his Fruity or Cocoa Pebbles. (Okay, maybe Fred deserved it for all the lousy, rotten things he did to Barney in the Flintstones cartoons.)

Anyhow, those of you who know me know I tend to act upon those skittering little mice-like impulses. My last was around Christmas and revolved around Santa, Johnny Depp, and a rather disturbing holiday film idea ...

This time out, however, my self-inflicted mental itch came from a throwaway joke in my last post:

I had an extreme ear infection when I was around 13 years old, or so. Maybe I should have said severe instead of extreme. Now I have mental images of little bacteria Gen-Xr's skateboarding around my ear canal like it was a half pipe. =/

The itch is gone now, but you can still revel in the horrible miasma of half-baked humor which was spawned from it.

I give you, gentle reader ... The E Games!

3 comments:

Bruce said...

I'm not sure why, but something makes me think that you won't sell a lot of tickets to these games. Besides, once they're out of the halfpipe and into that cave in the background, the people in the cheap seats won't be able to see anything. You might want to rethink these events.

Arisilon said...

On the subject of Cereal Killers - is this what happened to guys like Sugar Bear, Quisp, and that little porcupine from the Corn pops box.

Personlly I think Snap, Crackle and Pop have some kind of cereal consortium and theyre running the breakfast market like three organized crime bosses would.

The only reason they don't go after the Quaker Oats guy is because he's been too quiet for too long and they don't know what he's capable of.

Raivynn said...

The Quaker Oats guy has created travelling statues of himself, equipped with a mind-controlling device in each, and spread the mall over the country. It attracts children and adults alike, though the elderly often become emotionally attached to them. Soon, he will be in control of a lrge portion of society and overthrow those sugary cereal moguls!