Monday, January 15, 2007

Let's Go to the Tape

I think cats use their fur like a sensory organ. I'm not just meaning their whiskers, but I think the normal fur acts very similar. (Cat whiskers are used to sense vibrations, helping a cat "see" in darkness, as well as being a communication tool for moods cite).

If you place something on a cat's fur, it reacts very oddly; trying to move away from the faux constant pressure. It doesn't matter where on the cat this constant pressure is applied, the cat will move its body away from the feeling.

Don't believe me? I'll prove it to you.

We'll need a cat and a catalyst to induce the sensation of constant, applied pressure. Tape works best. It is sticky and can easily be made to whatever length you need to put on the cat.

Cellophane tapes are the least sticky, easily coming off the cat without taking more than loose fur, yet will stay on the cat. Masking tape is okay, but can pull attached fur out when removed. (Think yanking a band-aid off a hairy part of your body). Duct Tape is just evil, and you deserve any perforations and bloodletting the cat will surely inflict upon you should you use it.

Get a good strip of tape (you are using cellophane, right?) and measure out a piece to place along the cat's side. Coax the unsuspecting kitty over and carefully put the tape on its side. you don't need to press down hard, but enough so it sticks. Now let the cat go and watch.

Once you stop laughing your ass off, retrieve the kitty and gently remove the tape. Assuming you can get to the cat who is likely under a bed by now. If you feel lucky, and a little bit mean, you could try this on other parts of the cat for different effects. Your cat may never forgive you, so use moderation and lots of kitty treats and love after if you try this.

And NEVER put tape on a cat's face or front whiskers. the cat could injure itself trying to get away from the tape, and you might pull out some whiskers removing the tape. Pulling out a good whisker is like someone pulling your fingernail out to a cat.

Actually, you should probably never put tape on your cat, or any other cat, just to be safe. Therefore, in order to promote peace and harmony between you and your cat, i offer a vicarious look into what it might look like if you really did torture, I mean, play ... play with your cat using tape.

Now you know why it is damn difficult to get a cat to wear kitty clothing of any kind. Not only does it look totally stupid to dress an animal up, but it will likely freak them out, too. Plus, the cat may later send Tigger over to your house to punch you in the face.

Seriously, if you decide to try this with your cat, please, please, please, use cellophane tape and don't overdue it. You will really stress the cat out and it may not be very friendly with you later.

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