Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Cure Is Worse Than the Disease

Some days I think I'd rather be sick than cured.

I am on several medications, and have just added two more to my list of poor-man's pharmaceutical panaceas. I now have prescriptions going into every orifice except the ... errr ... out one.

I have drops for my eyes. I have drops for my ears. I have a spray for my nose. I have pills I swallow. I have puffers I inhale. I even have creams I apply to my skin (sometimes).

The diabetic pills (Metformin) give me the runs. I'm talking sudden abdominal cramps, followed a mad dash to the nearest porcelain throne, where I spend the next several minutes wondering when the thrust from the booster rockets that were somehow implanted in my tuchas are going to send me into orbit.

Fortunately it is not an everyday occurrence; it happens a few times a week. On those days I'm left weak, exhausted, dehydrated, and feeling like an aborted space launch. As bad as the liquid rocket propellant is, the effects of not taking the meds are worse; lethargy, headaches, weakness, peeing every few minutes, dry mouth, increased susceptibility to infection, irritability (OK I'm always irritable), and the ever looming chance of death.

Two new meds to combat my severe allergies are making me wonder if having itchy, watery eyes, stuffy nose, pressure headaches, post nasal drip, coughing, and sneezing are worth the near migraine level, trip-hammering, head-exploding, mind-bursting headaches they induce.

I've only been on the new stuff for two days, so I'll have to see how it plays out. Next month I get to be tested for specific allergy inducers by being pricked 45 times on my back, then waiting to see which prick causes a reaction. (The allergen, not the person who poked it into me, that is). If that goes well, then I get 20-25 subdermal injections on my arm to find out what else may be making me sick. And I get to pay almost $800 for the privilege of becoming a medical pincushion. Thankfully, I have no fear of needles.

Currently however, I am combating the raging headaches by taking Tylenol ... handfuls of it. Okay, I don't really exceed the recommend dosage of 2 every 4-6 hours, but it seems I'm popping the pain pills like M&M's.

I also have real pain medication for arthritis and some neuropathy, but I use that sparingly because it zonks me out and makes me slightly wonky. I am sorely tempted to use it for the headaches, but it hasn't gotten to that point ... yet.

I could take a pill to help with the chocolate rocket boosters, but then I'd have to take another pill to help with the nausea that pill causes, and yet another pill to help with the insomnia brought on by the nausea pill, which leads to yet another pill for heartburn from the sleeping pill, and the pill for heartburn gives me the runs, and the cycle is complete.

I'd rather be sick. =/



Today's Penny Doubled Daily Cumulative Amount for 115 days is:

$415,383,748,682,786,210,282,439,706,337,605.11

1 comment:

Russell said...

ugh.

I did the allergy test thing last summer. Lit my arm up like a christmas tree!! Apparently I'm allergic to the world.