Hiatus

As you may or may not have noticed, posting has been sporadic the last week or so. Blogging has turned into a chore more than something fun to do. I'm burned out.

Therefore, I am taking an extended break from blogging. During this time I will see if the desire to continue returns, changes to something else, or stays gone.

Thanks to all who visit me regularly, I will update the Roost in a week with what I've decided.

God bless, and play nice!

Halo - The Future of Gaming

You'd think this is a possibility with all the Halo3 tie-ins.

Have you ever played Halo? Will you?

I haven't. I'm not much for first-person-shooters. Especially player-vs-player ones. I just suck. Still, Halo3 looks to be graphically beautiful, and there is something a bit cathartic about blowing away digital enemies. I'm just not going to drop $350 on an Xbox 360 then another $50 or more just for a single game.

People are doing it, though.

Golden Shower Tree

This was taken at Busch Gardens Tampa. The descriptive plaque would lead you to beleive the tree's name is taken from the golden flowers which bloom in Spring.

They lie.

The tree is filled with incontinent howler monkeys and is a trap for unwary park visitors.

Took me twelve trips on the water rides to get the smell out. =/

"God" Responds to Lawsuit

Yesterday I told you about State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha filing a lawsuit against God.

Today, God responded.

John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha stated a filing from God "... miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here - poof!"

"God" claims that Chambers' point that anybody can sue anybody simply doesn't apply in His case. Earthly laws cannot be applied to Him, and the court lacks jurisdiction. "God" goes on to state that blaming Him for human oppression ans suffering misses the point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is My greatest gift to you," according to the response filing.

I wonder if the Almighty will pull in the Devil as a material witness? Or, would he be too much a hostile witness?

Nebraska State Senator Sues God

Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha is suing God.

The outspoken Nebraska state senator is attempting to make a point about frivolous lawsuits. And this one is about as frivolous as they get.

Chambers' suit claims God has made terroristic threats against constituents, inspired fear, and "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." The state senator also claims God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."

Even though Chambers has criticized Christians in the past, his lawsuit is not really an attack on the Almighty. Rather, it is in response to a recent federal suit against a judge who barred the use of the words "rape" and "victim" from a sexual assault trial.

I'm wondering if God will have to swear an oath on the Bible?

And, does anyone else think the fan in the background of the picture of Sen. Chambers sorta look like a halo effect?

Go to Seattle, Ride the SLUT

This is one of the funniest WTF stories I've seen in a while.

The South Lake Union Trolley in Seattle has the unfortunate nickname. It was quickly amended to South Lake Union Streetcar once the unfortunate acronym was realized, but the damage has been done. You can read more about it here.

What makes it even more hilarious, to me, is the trolleys are being installed by area developers Vulcan, Inc. (Who claim the SLUT acronym was never true, a new urban myth).

So, technically, Seattle will soon have numerous Vulcan SLUTs running about!

Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Headache

No blog today. Near migraine level headache. Too much pain to even look for fart jokes.

See you tomorrow.

Squirrel Ninja Warrior

I love Ninja Warrior on G4. (Called Sasuke in its original Japanese format.) This little squirrel has got them all beat!

If you've never seen Ninja Warrior (Sasuke), here is the Japanese original airing of only the second man to ever beat the course. (The course changes somewhat each competition.)



I foresee a fully Americanized version on the horizon. Though I do love the Japanese version. They have the best television!

Sure beats American Gladiators!

Which is making a comeback. =/

Toot-Tone: The Greatest Invention Ever?

The audio is a little soft, you may have to turn up the volume slightly.


I'll never hear a ring-tone the same way again!

Thinking on it, I wonder if there are ring tones that make fart noises? What a great prank that would be to download it into your friends phone, set it to default, then call him when he's in a public place!

5min - Life Videopedia

I just heard about this new website called 5min. It is a video sharing site that is for sharing knowledge and how-to's rather than cute animals, groin shots, or Internet freakology.

Here is how 5min describe themselves:

5min is a place to find short video solutions for practical questions and a place for people to share their knowledge.

The idea behind 5min is very simple: any solution can be visually explained in no more than 5 minutes. Our goal is to create the first communal Life Videopedia allowing users from all over the globe to contribute their knowledge by sharing visual guides in areas such as arts, business, fashion, sports, health, tech, food, and much more.

5min's basic philosophy is that everybody is an expert in something and has something to teach others, so why not share that knowledge for the better of the whole? That's why we created a place to gather that collective knowledge onto one platform.

You can read more at 5min's About page, and even *Gasp* watch a 5min video about them!

Unlike YouTube, Google Video, or other video sharing sites, you cannot embed 5min videos to a webpage, though you can send them to your mobile phone. The reason is 5min's proprietary Smart Player that is much more robust than typical online video players. With Smart Player viewers can slo-mo the action, zoom in and out, and more.

I like this idea. Having useful information in one place, rather than buried inside a pile of pseudo-entertainment, is a great thing!

Categories include: Arts, Fashion, Food, Games, Health, Music, Spiritual, Sports, Life Tips and many more. Thousands of videos are already available.

Some of the more interesting videos:

How to Survive a Knife Attack - Especially if it's a rubber knife, you can do it all in slow motion, and the knife-wielder is a passive behemoth!

How to Tie a Du-Rag - 'Cuz you never know when you might need to fly those gang colors.

How to quit playing WoW! - So you can spend more time looking at Hillary Duff Pr0n and researching how to create explosive devices!

How to Wash a Cat - This is followed by the How-to video "How to Treat Infected Cat Scratches".

Tips for Managing Your Zune - for all 3 non-iTunes users out there. You know who you are!

Who says online videos can't be educational?

The Guild - Episodes 1 - 3

This is for all my gaming buddies:

The Guild - Episode 1: Wake-Up Call


The Guild - Episode 2: Zaboo'd


The Guild - Episode 3: The Macro Problem


Yes, that is Felicia Day, Vi from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A couple others look vaguely familiar, but none of their names (from the credits) ring a bell.

Anyhow, funny stuff!

And eerily familiar overtones. o.O

Live Optical Illusions

The brass nuts illusion is freaky! It works on the same inverted principle as the dragon video below.

Iron Man Trailer

Iron Man is one of my favorite super-heroes. I used to love the whole playboy millionaire / super-hero / flawed individual thing he had going. And his armor suits were freaking cool!

On 05-02-08 Iron Man will burst onto the big screen. Robert Downey Jr. is an inspired casting choice to play Tony Stark aka Iron Man. John Favreau directs ol' Shellhead's debut picture. Many other big name stars are also on board: Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard, Hilary Swank, Jeff Bridges, and the incomparable Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury!

I'd advise going to Apple's website to view the trailer in a crisp, clean Quicktime or HD format.

If you don't wanna go there, the trailer has already shown up on YouTube. Not sure how long it'll be available, but here is a link to one below:



I love how Black Sabbath's Iron Man made it into the trailer. Makes me wanna see it even more!

It may surprise you to know there is already a fantastic, full length Iron Man movie available on DVD. The third in Marvel's animated features, The Invincible Iron Man is a surprisingly good adventure and origin story.

Iron Man's arch-enemy Mandarin is in this one, though continuity is much different than in the comics. His origin, battles with powerful magic imbued statues, a love interest, and more armor action than you fire a repulsor at will keep you glued to your television. Easily one of my favorite super-hero movies ever.

I'll likely watch this once or twice before next May. My anticipation level for the Iron Man movie is running high! I can't wait!!

Smallville Season 7 Teaser

For all you Smallville fans out there!

Internet People (Frederator)

"An animated tribute to the internet people of the world, wherever you may be. Animated by Dan Meth, with music by Dan Meth and Micah Frank." A Meth Minute 39 show.

How to Untangle Earphones

Below is an easy, step-by-step video on how to untangle earphones from MP3 players and other devices.



I wanted to post this last night, but was too tired. This morning I find out it's one of those new viral videos, even getting featured on G4's Attack of the Show. Even the YouTube video jumped up almost 40,000 hits since I saw it and wanted to post.

*sigh*

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! ~.^

Hooked on Phone-ics

When people ask you for your telephone number, how do you answer? (assuming you are American ... other countries have different exchanges and sequences).

Most people will give the number in the standard sequence of three then four. As in one two three ... pause ... four five six seven. Or, with apologies to Tommy Tutone, 867 - 5309.

Other socially acceptable ways are to combine the last four digits to make two pairs of numbers. Thus, eight six seven ... pause ... fifty-three oh-nine.

Of course, when adding the Area Code most people say it in a three, three, four. Or, 555 - 867 - 5309.

Then you get the oddballs. The freaks of nature who do not have telephonic rhythm. Those technological throw-backs who recite their numbers in ways to make your ears twitch and your brain bleed.

Case in point, a man at the doctor's office where one of the kids went for a check-up and shots ( a whole 'nother story, that) was giving his number to the receptionist. This was how he gave it:

Fifty-five, fifty-eight, six-seventy-five, thirty, nine.

That's not his real number, obviously. I am again using the "Jenny" number, but his did end with a zero and a nine. (I should use his real number and hope my readers call him and set him straight on proper phone-number-giving etiquette!)

Even were you to write the numbers as he states them, you'd end up a number short.

55 58 675 39 (555-867-539_)

He knew what he meant. He knew that thirty and nine were two separate numbers. But they sounded as one ... thirty-nine.

The receptionist asked him multiple times to repeat his number with the same result. She stayed calm, the freak of telephony was getting agitated. After the third time repeating his screwball litany of numbers, he acidly asked the girl if she knew how to write numbers down. To her credit, she answered she was having difficulty typing them in and asked him to write the phone number on a scrap paper so as to make sure she did not make a mistake.

I stayed out of it, though I itched to storm up to him and blast him on how to give a phone number like a normal human being. I gritted my teeth and was restrained by my mother's hand on my knee. Oh, if I'd been that receptionist ...

So, after that debacle, she asked for his work number, if any.

Mistake ...

Three fives, eighty-six, seventy-five, three-oh-nine

Not even the same asinine cadence as before!!! (This one didn't end in zero nine).

I understand this may be the only way this guy can remember his phone numbers; by grouping the numbers in those sequences. It just goes against all things natural. Like gnarled fingernails scraping down the telephonic chalkboard.

The receptionist was onto the guy though, and seemed to get the number in one go. She was still nice and pleasant, still sitting with a smile on her face. I was contemplating if I rammed my cellphone in his ear if he'd get the whole numerical telephone sequence thing or not.

He wasn't any better when it came to his home address ... One hundred one thousand three hundred fifty two Ear Lick Arr Dee.

Wha?

First off, again with the odd numerical sequencing. Most people would have said one-oh-one, three-fifty-two ... or one-hundred-one, three-fifty-two ... even one-oh, one-three, five-two. Not this guy. He has to give it in long form notation.

And the road he was speaking of is Ehrlich (sounds like Uhr-lick) Road. I suppose calling it Ear Lick may be some cutesy family name for it, but I've lived near that road for most of my life and never heard it called that by anyone. And it was not an accent thing. He spoke Ear Lick as if it were two separate words.

Don't get me started on the whole Arr Dee thing. =/

By this time I was not agitated (and really wasn't as bad as I make myself out to be ... poetic license ~.^). But I was shaking my head in disbelief that anyone could be so ... abnormal on simple things like phone numbers and addresses.

Maybe it was karma was the whole pizza thing the other day. >_>

Anyhow, as a treat for listening to my rant about telephonic etiquette, here is 867-5309/Jenny by Tommy Tutone done in clay!


And as an extra special treat, you can read about the guy who tried finding Jenny at any 867-5309 number in the US.

Heroes, Ninjas, and Critters

I spent the morning watching the first 7 episodes of Heroes on DVD. I loved the show when it came out, and watched the first 4 as they aired. As the weeks went on, I found myself involved with my Rebel Dragon guildmates in Guild Wars, then World of Warcraft. Heroes fell to the wayside, and I vowed to get the DVD when it came out.

I remembered I had not posted to the Roost when I received several oddball news links from my best Internet buddy, Johnny Crash. (I'd link to his blog, but he hasn't updated in months. *sigh*) And since I was watching Ninja Warrior with the family when Crash sent the links, it was not until now I actually got around to posting.

Thanks to him, I am able to give you a link about a Vicious Dog Pack Attack on a Florida Gator, originally posted on the always interesting, often funny Crazy for Critters blog. Beware! The chilling image of this horrific animal battle may be too much for the squeamish.

Small Medium at Large

No, this post isn't about a short stature psychic on the lam.

It's about my call to Pizza Hut this holiday weekend to order lunch. The girl answering the local delivery hub's phone was pleasant and cheery. She seemed happy to take my order and things went smoothly until she asked me what size pizza I wanted.

"Small," I confidently answered.

"We only have Medium, Large, and Extra-Large," pizza girl informed me.

Now, seems to me if you have 3 sizes of pizza, the smallest of those would be Small, not Medium. I rolled my eyes and and clarified my statement.

"I'd like the smallest size you have."

"That would be Medium," she shot back, still with a smile in her voice.

"Okay, a small Medium."

"Ma'am, Medium is our smallest." I thought I detected a smidgen of exasperation creeping into her tone.

"Fine. Medium then," I carefully told her. I swear she sighed in relief. "Your small Medium pizza."

I counted to three before she replied. It sounded like through gritted teeth, yet still with a now forced cheeriness. "The Medium pizza is not small. It's pretty big."

"Oh!" I exclaimed excitedly. "So the small Medium is large?"

"Um ..." I knew I had her on the ropes then.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I want the small Medium large pizza." You could feel the tension through the phone receiver. Her mental cogs were churning, her eyes were rolling, her lips were pressed thin, and her finger were tightening around the pen, threatening to snap it. Or, so I envisioned.

"Ma'am, was that a Medium or Large size pizza you wanted? We don't have Small."

"Yes."

"Um ..."

"The small Medium large pizza."

"Maybe I should get my manager?"

"No need," I smiled into the phone, "We can work this dilemma out, I'm sure. I want a Medium pizza, which is your smallest size, yet is still pretty large."

"You want Medium size?"

"That's what I've been saying."

"Okay," she paused. "I'm sorry ... for the ... confusion."

"Don't worry about it. A small Medium large is exactly what I want. I'm glad we're on the same page now."

"Um ... yeah. Thanks. Is there anything else today?" Cheer was guardedly slipping back into her voice.

"Yeah, A pan pizza, mushrooms, onions, sausage, bell peppers."

"What size did you want that?" I'm sure the question slipped out in rote fashion.

"Medium Large, please."

I got at least 5 seconds of silence on that one.

I do so love boring Monday holidays! ~.^

So how was your Labor Day?

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (And This Squirrel)

Coin Puzzle - Are You a Genius?

Okay, I know I said I'd take a few days off, but I'm feeling better and can sit for a little bit, so ... Here is a post I was holding onto. Just watch the video below, and follow along with it. Just to help you out a bit, you will be asked to get five coins: three large and two small. (Quarters and pennies work well.)

I'm ashamed to say it took me 5 tries. I am typically much better at these logic puzzles, especially after seeing the solution. D'oh! In my defense, I had a sinus headache and was under the influence of Sudafed and my usual cocktail of prescription medication.

If you go to the website shown in the video, there is a slew of comments to the video saying how they completed this coin puzzle in four moves or less. By the rules in the video, yes, they did. But I'd add another rule to the puzzle which states, "When moving the paired coins, their ending position must have one of the two coins touching at least one of the non-moved coins."

How well did you do?

Few Days Off

I likely will not be blogging for the next few days. A painful medical condition has arisen that precludes me from sitting too long. I'm too embarASSed to tell you what it is. Butt, hopefully I'll have some PREPARATION done for when I return, TUCKing away little ideas and such.

Until then amuse yourselves with Star Wars: Attack of The Hemorrhoids!

Kitty Say What?

Now I got this song stuck in my head! Nooooooo!

D&D&Me

Wow ... that D&D video was perhaps the most boring and poorly put together piece of promotional crap I've ever watched. I put the wrong video up. I had meant to post this one:

A much more light-hearted look at Dungeons and Dragons over the years.

I've played D&D since Summer 1979. Yes, my first time playing was when I was 8-years-old!

All I really recall is I was given an elf to play. At that time elves were not a race, as much as a class. They were a combination of warrior, archer, and magic-user. I didn't care about that then, though. I knew my elf could shoot a bow and cast Magic Missile! Of course, my mental image of Magic Missile was of miniature ICBMs flying out of my elf's hands, not mystical shards of light doing force impact damage. I was eight! Whaddaya expect?

The only other thing I recall from that very first experience was encountering a stegosaurus. Now, I loved dinosaurs at the time. One of my favorite toys was a pack of cheap, multi-colored plastic dinosaurs I would play with for hours, doing mock battles, attacking my other toys, growling and roaring.

The fact said Stegosaurus was in a 10'x10'x10' room in the middle of an underground dungeon never crossed my eight year old mind. Nor did the fact that Stegoaurs do not eat meat, yet piles of bones and half eaten goblin corpses littered the hallway surrounding the door into the dino filled closet. What did register is that the damn thing killed my elf in one lousy hit. This was after my Magic Missile spell bounced harmlessly off its scaled hide, as well as a slew of hastily shot arrows.

I didn't really get into playing D&D until a few months later in 1980, after the Christmas break, when a friend of mine got the Basic game from Santa. Our small group of friends spent hours and hours pouring over the rules, creating new characters, and trying to draw what our carefully crafted characters looked like. All before we ever stepped foot into a single adventure.

The Keep on the Borderlands was my first, real adventure. Fighting orcs, goblins, and the occasional Ogre and undead in the Caves of Chaos is still a warm memory. My elf made it all the way to level 3 this time ... before a black dragon ate her. She had no chance, really. The dragon was hiding under a pile of dirty goblin clothing in a small side cave. The DM (Dungeon Master) added that little encounter into the published adventure after deciding we had done enough Dungeons, it was now time for the Dragons part of the game's title. =/

I was beginning to hate reptiles.

The rest is history.

Playing D&D gave me a way to unleash my imagination, a love of reading (mostly fantasy stories at that time), exercised my math skills with its often arcane rules of figuring out if an action succeeded, broadened my communication skills through story-telling and role-play, and taught me how to research by looking up rules in the books, as well as all sorts of esoteric things relating to medieval times from the library. (Yeah, I learned the difference between a bill-guisarme and a halberd, as well as what a buttery was, and why a longbow was deadlier than a crossbow, among other things. You know, important knowledge to help me in my day-to-day life!)

I've played, and collected, D&D since. I used to have several of the varying Basic Sets (but they were lost or otherwise misplaced over the last 27 years). I have many original 1st edition rulebooks, most of the 2nd edition core rule books, the vastly underrated Skills and Powers options set of rulebooks (more like a 2.5 edition), and the core rulebooks for 3rd Edition.

I never "upgraded" to 3.5 Edition, though i do have the 3.5 Basic Game box set which I keep intending to teach and play with the boys, but never do. Mainly because, by the time the weekend rolls around, we are so busy with one thing or another, someone is on restriction for something, or Mom isn't feeling well (the only real gaming spot is a table very near her bedroom), we have no time. Plus I play WoW ... a lot. More than I should.

Which brings us to this weekend and the lack of posts Saturday and Sunday. I could have, but they would have been made in the late afternoon, almost evening. Evenings are times when I like to pop into WoW and hook up with online friends to hang out. Plus, one of the kids was in big trouble (for something I felt was minor and way overblown, but Grandma wouldn't let it go! *sigh*) and the house was an unpleasant place to be, let alone try to write a blog.

All in all, I'd rather have been in a 10'x10' room with a Stegosaurus.

D&D 4th Edition

An official video about the recently unveiled, upcoming 4th Edition of the venerable Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game.

More to come later ...

Another Fine Chinese Product

This is a Chinese made bubble blower called Bubble Breezer (or Bub L Breezer). Yes, he blow bubbles out of his butt. No, I'm not providing a link to where you can get one. You'll know how to find one if you really wanted one ... not that anyone would. Right?

Besides, with all the Chinese recalls lately, you'd be lucky if this thing didn't blow up in your face, or create leaded bubbles.

This product might explain doggy breath:


It can't be be any worse than the possible upcoming US introduction of the well-made Chinese automobile manufacturer Chery Amulet. See how well it fares in a standard crash test.

That's pure quality there, folks! You just don't get full body accordion crumple like that in American cars these days. (Technically, that was a Russian crash test demonstration of the Chery Amulet).

Chrysler has inked a deal with Chery to begin selling its cars here in the US. Mainly compact and sub-compact cars in the $10,000 to $15,000 range. And, yes, they will still make money on such cheap automobiles manufactured in China and shipped to the US. [cite]

Chrysler is going to have to do a Hell of a job selling this piece of crap to the American public. Oh, sure, they will likely get it up to American safety standards. But, the stigma of being Chinese made, especially after the recent spate of dangerous Chinese made recalls, will make most people think more than twice about buying one. The viral video above will be burned into a lot of peoples' consciousness. The Buy American segment will surely use any and all manner and media to discredit the purchase of these cars.

We're a ways off from seeing them in the US, and Chrysler is probably more interested in growing their brand name in foreign markets, where these cars, even in current state, would sell nicely. Still, the US market could use a reasonably priced, safe, fuel efficient small car (think VW Bug a few decades back.)

Time will tell. Maybe these Chery built cars will be a good thing.

And, maybe it'll blow bubbles out of its tail pipe!

Adventures in Foosball

Two Christmas's ago, we bought the kids a Star Wars Foosball Table. It was a Wal-Mart special, only %59.99. A deal, I thought. Until I had to put the monster together.

Fortunately the kids were visiting their Grandparents in Michigan. I'm not sure their tender ears would have withstood the blistering tirade of curses, oaths, and mumbled dire imprecations for the designers of this do-it-yourself game from Hell.

Not that the instructions were difficult; indeed, they were quite clear, concise, and relatively easy to follow. Not that the parts were packed poorly; everything was labeled, each hardware component was packaged separate and marked, nothing was damaged, chipped, worn, or scratched.

Sportscraft, the maker of the foosball table, did an excellent job with this product. Other assembly-required manufacturers would do well to emulate Sportscraft when packaging their products.

No, the trials and tribulations of assembling the game table came from two sources: the sheer volume of parts and the idiocy with which I went about putting it together.

Clearly this was going to be a two person job. Of course, I went it solo.

I had my trusty Black & Decker cordless power drill. I had my case of Craftsman hand tools. I had plenty of floor space in which to work. I had ample lighting. I had a big-screen TV with all sorts of Christmas specials on to entertain me as I worked.

I was ready to work!

Except that I had forgotten to charge up my drill. And, several screwdrivers, the Allen wrenches, and my crescent wrench were mysteriously missing from my tool case. And, the volume of pieces from inside the tightly packed, deceptively small box grew to take over the living room, the couch, and portions of the walking area between the front and back of the house. The lighting was fine ... from one angle; the rest of the place may as well have been the dark side of the moon. The television was fine. Except that with all the product pieces carefully strewn about I couldn't comfortably see anything, let alone sit down to watch it while waiting for my drill to charge. It did give me time to locate my missing tools. Most of them. A few are still AWOL. You might see their pictures on the sides of cans of WD-40, right under the "Have You Seen Me?" caption.

Long story short, after several long sweaty hours, a few splinters, a scraped knuckle or two, and much moaning, groaning, and general cursing, standing before me in all it's glistening glory was a bona fide, working foosball table. A 48'' x 24'' x 32.75" monument to perseverance, ingenuity, and sheer stubbornness.

I couldn't have been prouder.

Until my mother came out to see it and asked me if all the handles were supposed to be on the same side of the table.

...

Longer story shorter, after another sweaty hour, more splinters, a scraped knee to match the knuckles, more moaning, groaning, and enough cursing the FCC threatened to shut me down, I had wrestled the table apart, swapped the bars to their correct positions, and reattached everything. In the meanwhile I cracked an important stabilizing piece and almost cemented myself to both the floor and the table with some strong wood glue.

Did you know wood glue is great for removing fingerprints? Off your fingers?

The game table looked sharp. Darth Vader glowered from one side. Yoda brandished a lightsaber on the other. Clone Troopers and Federation battle droids faced each other in stony silence (well, hard plastic silence), waiting for the momentous occasion when the first plastic ball rolled onto the slate battlefield. The goal nets waited like ravenous maws. I swear I could see them salivating.

Well, the kids came back home, oohed and aahhed over the foosball table ... then proceeded to play their new Gameboy games.

Over the last two years, the table has been used several times, but serves mostly as a convenient travel path for the cats to get from the couch to the top of the television.

Yesterday was one of those days where the plastic clone troopers and Federation driods did footie battle.

The kids and I played a cut-throat tournament of winner-plays-loser. Star Wars foosmen spun like demented dervishes, dancing wildly across the table. The ball spacked and popped back and forth, a white blur on the blue-green field of deadly battle. You could almost hear the roar of a crowd as fancy moves and well-timed kicks sent the ball soaring into the awaiting maws of the goals.

Okay, what really happened was I had my ass handed to me by a 13 and 10-year-old.

I jammed my pinky trying to quickly grab one my sticks to block a shot. I pinched the skin of my thumb in the small hole the pole slides through. My back seized up trying to awkwardly stoop down so as to reach the gaming rods. And once, the ball flew out of the table box with enough force to knock my glasses askew.

After a celebratory dance by the kids, whom ended up tied when i called a halt to the tournament (no fool, I), the table was slid back into its customary spot.

The cats were pleased their highway was returned and promptly sat on it, shooting looks of scorn at their crazy humans who needed plastic men mounted on rotating rods to bat a ball around. That's what paws were for. Sheesh.

The Ballad of the Noob

This was hilarious! And, yes, according to the video's creators, they are aware alliance and Horde cannot actually talk to each other, let alone trade items.

You may want to turn this up a little, as a few spots get kinda hard to hear.

Back to School

A few years ago there was a commercial for Staples that showed a man gleefully dancing about as he pushed a shopping cart full of school supplies to the Christmas tune of "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year". His two kids glumly trudged along behind him, faces set in sour expressions.

I love that commercial!

My kids weren't near as despondent as the kids in the commercial, but they weren't exactly pleased saying goodbye to the freedoms of Summer and camp at the Y. One is going into the 8th Grade, so he's happy to be Top Dog in his Middle School now. The other is going into 5th Grade, to a brand new built school. So, he is Top Dog in his Elementary with all new everything.

They wear school uniforms, so clothing was easy. Solid color Polo tops and jeans are the order of the day. Still, they both seemed very happy (and a little surprised) at the new cargo jeans they got. (Grandma is straight-laced and jeans with cargo pockets, Velcro, faded, or otherwise deviate from normal, utilitarian jeans were a non-no.) New socks, new shoes, new belts. Even being boys they like to be stylin' a bit the first day of school.

New backpacks, too, for all the new school supplies. My youngest got a one-strap over-the-shoulder pack, in camo and black. Compartments and zippers everywhere on that thing. My older boy got a messenger bag, like you'd see those bike messengers carry slung over their shoulder as they slalom dangerously through New York traffic. It has several discrete compartment to keep his books, folders, and binder separate from one another, pen holder, a few big pockets for his calculator and pack of markers. I want one, but have no use for it. It's just cool.

What sucks big time this year is the revamped bus schedules. Last year, both boys went to the stop at the same time, with only a 15 minute gap between pick-up times. This year, the Elementary starts an hour earlier. so instead of leaving the house at 8:10 AM for a 8:25 AM pick-up, I have to get him down there by 7:10 AM. Ugh!

He did well in getting up earlier. He got up, dressed, ate breakfast, did his morning chores, and was ready to go in (for him) record time. His brother has to get up with him, unfortunately, because we simply aren't doing breakfast twice. He gets an hour to read, maybe play his Gameboy DS a bit, but no television. Me? I'd use the time to go over my homework from the night before or study for a test that day. But, then again, I was a nerd in school.

My older boy is being allowed to walk to and from the bus stop now. A huge step for him, and us. With his behavioral problems and trust issues, we're hoping it will not turn around and bite us. We want to extend him some trust and responsibility. I know he can do it, but I still get those small, niggling doubts crawling through my mind.

We live in a retirement community. A place of wrinkled old farts with too much time on their hands, and a need to control others since they cannot control their own bladders any longer. (There are a lot of wonderfully nice older folk in the park, don't get me wrong, but the few loud-mouthed control freaks override the nice like fecal coliform in the swimming pool.) There was trouble at first when the boys came to live with my Mom ... until the state told them shut-up or tell it to a judge. I'm sure there will be some complaints when people see him walking down the main road to the bus stop. They can bite my butt.

I did give him several tules to follow:

1. Stay on the main road.
   
2. Do NOT walk in, through, over, or across any body's yards.
   
3. Do NOT stop to pet any animals.
   
4. Do NOT stop to look at something interesting, especially if it is in some one's yard.
   
5. Do NOT pick up anything off the ground. (Sticks, pennies, shiny things ... he's like a freakin' crow sometimes.)
   
6. Do NOT talk to anyone unless they talk to you, and then keep it to "Hello", "Good Morning", or "Hi".
   
7. If one of the walking wrinkles tries to stop you, asks you what you are doing, or otherwise harasses you, keep walking and tell them to talk to me!
   
8. If your bus doesn't come on time, your butt better be sitting at the stop until 9:00 AM, at which time you may come home and I'll drive you if I'm in a good mood. Missing the bus means you miss school, stay in bed all day, lights out, until the time you'd normally get home. (Guarantee he won't "miss" the bus more than once! hehe)

We couldn't make it to either school's Open House for the meet-and-greet with the teachers. You'd think the schools would schedule the things so as to not interfere with each other. Plus, they were both on the last day of summer camp and the kids went to Busch Gardens. I wasn't going to make them miss that for a hot, stuffy, long, boring school event where you see the teacher for 5 seconds, cannot find parking within a half mile of the campus, and get confused by each teacher contradicting the other as to rules, supplies, and procedures. *sigh*

I'd better wrap this up. My first kid'll be home in four hours. I'm sure he'll have a list of supplies three times the amount of what the school said he'd need. And another list with demands for cash for various things like an Agenda, class supplies, yearbook, blah, blah, blah ...

JK Rowling is Writing a New Book

J.K. Rowling, she of Harry Potter fame, is writing a new book.

Word on the streets, more accurately in the Edinburgh cafes she haunts, is the new book will be a crime drama, a criminal detective novel. [cite]

Now, that just seems a strange leap from the Harry Potter books to writing crime novels. Though, with all the dark doings, murders, and other deaths in the later books of the Potter series, perhaps it is not so much a stretch. And, there is much of detective work to be done, and mysteries to unravel, in the latter half of the Potter series. That they are swathed in magic seems to belay the fact that they are, at their heart, a mystery novel.

You can be sure curious readers the world over will snatch up whatever she puts out. But can she hold our attention sans Wizards and Muggles? Will the new book be kid-friendly, or geared more for adults? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Harry Potter and the Bloody, Dismembered Corpse, anyone?

The Brothers Tauren 2

Meh, not nearly as funny as Red Sky Foundry's first one, but humorous enough. This was posted to YouTube on November 8, 2006. Being that was almost a year ago, the chances of The Brothers Tauren 3 being made are not looking so good.

Red Sky Foundry also did a SIMS machinima (movies made from video game captures). It can be found at their woefully un-updated website. It's pretty funny, and the SIMS game seems well suited to making your own movies in it.

Wonder what a WoW SIMS game would be like? Hmmmmm ...

The Brothers Tauren

Created by Red Sky Foundry. This is one of the funniest, and most professional, WoW movies I've seen. I'll post the sequel tomorrow.

Monkeys, Butts, and Coconuts

Up Butt Coconut is now mnemonically implanted into your brain. You shall wander about all day singing these words to the querulous looks of co-workers, family members, friends, and passersby. You're welcome!

I wonder if the monkey in the belly tattoo below lost his coconut?

AC-DC

No, not the rock band.

In this case AC-DC stands for Air Conditioner Does Cool.

That's right, my AC is working again! Yay!

Per the tech guy (who looked a little like Corbin Bernson) the unit was just frozen solid. No repairs were required. Freon was charged, pressure was good. He also mentioned the unit looked like the Trane equivalent of Frankenstein. (We've had numerous repairs to it over the years, especially after it got fried by lightning.)

We were charged a total of $130 for two trips out. I was a bit miffed at that, but can only blame myself because I did not see any ice in the unit and did not shut it off before his first trip out. This required a second trip after we sweltered all night with the AC off.

Still, small price to pay in light of what it could have been. Though the tech did state the unit was on its last legs, and we had better start saving for a new one. We're hoping it lasts until the lawsuit against the roofing company that screwed up and caused major water leaks is settled before this happens.

So, if you live in Tampa and need air conditioning repairs, I highly recommend Action Air. Friendly, not as prompt as I like, but they did not push us to get a new unit, and no mysterious ailment of the machine was diagnosed. It wasn't broken, they said so, and I appreciate that kind of honesty in a business.

We've found our new AC company, and when we do get a new unit, they'll be who we go through.

For anyone who thought they'd find some real AC~DC stuff here, and for those of you who read through the entire post above, and because as hot as it got last night reminded me of Hell ...

Cubicle - The Movie

Hah! It was a fart post!

Cuz, it's hot, the AC isn't going to be fixed until later today, and I ain't cranking the 'puter up 'til it is! (Or until evening when it cools down some.)

No AC, I See

Sorry no post earlier today, and for the rather brief one this will be.

Our Air Conditioning went out yesterday. It still runs, technically, but it was not really putting much cool air into the house. After calling a local AC repair place last night, being told they'd be here around 1pm, then not seeing them until 5pm, the prognosis is still unknown. The unit was frozen solid, according to the tech.

He will come back tomorrow (for another visit fee, of course) and diagnose the problem after the ice has thawed. I'm hoping it's something minor like a bad hose or low freon. We cannot afford costly repairs, let alone replacement. If it came down to it, we'd have no choice. Though most likely we'd purchase a few window units instead of paying 5 grand for a new unit.

The house is fairly cool now. I pulled out a few of those big box floor fans we had, cranked up the ceiling fans, and positioned everything for a nice air flow. It's warm, but not excessive. We made sure all the lights are off (amazing the amount of heat they put out, even the fluorescent ones we use in many of the lights).

The computer generates a substantial amount of heat, too. Hence my minimal use earlier today. Even now, with it being on just 10 minutes, the temp has risen noticeably in my room. It's still tolerable, for now. I'm going to play WoW a bit, see how the temp goes. I may be on a WoWless night. I'm sure the twitching and drooling will subside once I fall asleep.

Hopefully, when the tech returns sometime tomorrow, news will be good, air will; be cool, and charges will be low.

Just wish I could open a window, but most are locked down and difficult to open. Plus, we get no air flow anyhow and at least the humidity is kept at bay. I'm hoping for rain tonight. hehe

Flash Gordon (Sci-Fi Series)

Sci-Fi, wasteland of cheesy "original" programming, has unleashed a new, "hipper" version of the space opera hero, Flash Gordon.

I loved the Flash Gordon movie from 1980 with Sam Jones as Flash and the incomparable Max Von Sydow as Ming the Merciless. It was as campy as you can get, with cheesy special effects and a rocking soundtrack by Queen. I saw this in the theater when it came out. I watched this every single time it came on HBO or Showtime in the '80's. I watched the television cartoon series. I even had Flash Gordon and Ming the Merciless action figures (even if Ming's gun looked more like a hair dryer).

I had high hopes for the new Flash Gordon series when Sci-Fi's teaser commercials used the old Queen song, Flash's Theme. Then I began seeing more substantial commercials showing the actors and a little of the action. I was not impressed. Several reviews of the show I had read gave me even more pause about the new Flash.

With great trepidation I got comfortable on my couch and tuned into Sci-Fi channel's premiere of the pilot for the new Flash Gordon series. My two boys were ensconced in their favorite tv-watching spots (couch for one, floor with pillow for the other). Mom was kicked back in her recliner.

The opening sequence was a huge disappointment. Generic music alongside images of a buff, blond guy running in a marathon, actor names superimposed over the whole thing. How utterly boring. Here is this (hopefully) high energy sci-fi series of an iconic space hero, and your big opening sequence is him basically jogging?!?! My hopes were dwindling fast.

The new series diverts from the traditional and familiar, while still staying fairly true to the legacy of Flash Gordon. What irks me the most about this newest incarnation is the sheer youthfulness of most of the principle actors. I know it's a ploy to garner the younger demographic, but when Flash's Mom looks like she could be dating him instead of mothering him, I get the creepy-crawlies.

One stylistic change is no space ships travelling between Earth and Mongo. Instead we get rifts between the two worlds, operated by a handheld remote control/tracking device. (Sliders, anyone?) While this makes a certain sense in being able to allow inhabitants of either planet to instantly move back and forth between worlds without all that pesky interstellar travel time, it just doesn't seem like Flash Gordon with out cool spaceships. And, why not have some sort of spaceship with warp technology, or something? I imagine it was a budget constraint behind that choice, but I have a feeling it will bite them in the butt.

Flash's big motivation in this go-round is finding out the truth about his Father's supposed death. Turns out Flash's Dad and Dr. Hans Zarkov had been working on a rift generation program called "Portage". Instead of dying, as everyone thinks, Papa Gordon ended going through a rift to Mongo, where Ming (sans the Merciless) finds out about this powerful technology and sends robots to Earth to search for the Imex, which holds the key to the "Knowldge of the Universe".

When all is said and Done, Zarkov, Flash, and Dale Arden (now a television reporter and Flash's high school ex-sweetheart) team up to discover where Papa Gordon is. Flash and Dale accidentally end up on Mongo where we meet Ming (played more modern-tyrant than maniacal despot, and also very, very white ... you'd think they would have kept the oriental influences ... too non-pc, perhaps?) and Princess Aura. Things begin to go downhill for our heroes; torture, enforced sexual slavery, and being involved in tepid dialogue and weak action sequences, not too mention the worst fake blood I've seen in modern television.

Flash and Dale escape Mongo with the aid of a disguised Princess Aura. Hijinks ensue back on Earth, with Baylin, one of Ming's best bounty hunters, arriving to bring both Aura and the Imex back to Mongo.

The pilot episode wasn't bad, but it wasn't a Stargate or Battlestar Galactica.

I warmed up to both Eric Johnson as Flash and Gina Holden as Dale. My favorite so far is Jody Racicot as Dr. Zarkov. John Ralston plays Ming very flat and uninspired, at least so far. He's about as generic a villain as you can get. Aura is also a tad over-acted; another generic spoiled princess with something to prove to Daddy Dearest. The bounty hunter Baylin seem like she will be an interesting addition. Everyone loves the bad-girl gone good characters. And, as a really new addition, Flash's best friend on Earth is black guy named Nick. I guess this was their nod to a balanced racial cast in this blandish, politically correct casting. (Which I find odd a Hispanic character is lampooned so badly for cheap humor in this episode.)

The special effects weren't anything special. We've seen it all before, often done better. But they weren't bad.

The show held my attention, barely, and it got better as it progressed. The subtle inter-play between Flash and Dale is not overdone, but you know where it's going. Humor abounds without getting too over-the-top, excessive, or campy. Dialogue is sometimes contrived; again, we've seen it all before and better delivered.

Still, I am going to give this a few more looks. there is a wealth of as yet untapped Flash Gordon lore to delve into; the various kingdoms of Arboria, Frigia, Tropica, and the Hawkmen's flying city, as well as Prince Barin, Prince Thun, and Prince Vultan. I know Barin will be in it, based on the info on IMDb.

I'm not impressed yet, but I'm not disgusted either. I'll be trying to catch the new episodes each weekend. Time will tell.

Flash Gordon airs on Sci-Fi Fridays at 9/8C. you can visit the official Sci-Fi Flash Gordon website for more info and 30-minute peek at the first half of the pilot episode.

As a special treat for you, here is a video of Queen singing the iconic Flash Gordon theme song!

TMNT (2007) (DVD)

Twenty-three years after debuting in a Mirage Studios comic, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back in their fourth full-length feature film. Unlike the previous three film outings, this one is fully CGI.

Ostensibly taking place after Shredder's defeat in the second film (and very likely the third film as well, due to the appearance of the Time Scepter on the trophy wall), the Turtles must overcome their petty squabbles and familial rifts to battle a new menace in the form of an 3,000-year-old immortal warrior hunting alien monsters and stone statues of his former Generals.

A less-clueless, more pro-active April O'Neil is now living with vigilante Casey Jones, who is chafing at settling down. The Foot Clan makes an impressive appearance, led by Karai, who has taken over from the deceased Shredder. Though hints are given that Shredder may not be as dead as the Turtles think, leaving things open for a follow-up film. Leonardo is off training in South America, Michaelangelo is working as a birthday party entertainer, Donatello is an IT Support guy, and Raphael fills his days with sleep and the nights with vigilante justice as the Night Watcher!

I loved the heck out this flick in the theaters, and loved just as much on the recently released DVD.

The animation is crisp, fluid, and rife with depth of texture, shadow, and light. This is, by far, my favorite CGI movie to date, visually speaking. Very little is static; from natural, life-like eye movements, to the gentle motion of breathing, to the ninja-quick fight scenes, this film just breathes life into the millions of moving pixels. The visual style is less realistic, more anime/manga, yet you find yourself immersed in the story and able to relate to the emotions of the very expressive characters.

The music chosen for the film is fantastic. The well used theme music gets your juices flowing. A version of Black Betty by Big City Rock and Lights Out by P.O.D. pump it up during a couple of the frenzied fight scenes. There are other surprisingly good tunes utilized to great effect through-out the movie. (Soundtrack can be found all over, including at Amazon, who I hope won't sue me for linking to their audio clips. ^.^;;)

The voice acting was top notch, though a few of the tertiary characters were obviosuly voiced by the same few actors. Laurence Fishburne narrates, Sarah Michelle Geller is April O'Neil, Chris Evans voices Casey Jones, Patrick Stewart voices the Immortal Warrior, the late Mako does a phenominal job as Splinter, and you will hear several familair voices from other cartoons and video games through-out. The dialogue is never stilted, often amusing, and fits each character well.

TMNT has a strong story to tell. It is engaging, with a perfect blend of action, humor, and drama. Compared to many other films out this year, TMNT delivers on plot without all the excessive fluff and marketing bloat.

If you want a great action film, one you can safely watch with your kids, or even all by your lonesome, you can't go wrong with four ninja turtles and gi wearing rat!

The DVD has a lot of extras, mostly commentary and few partially completed scenes, including an alternate opening and ending. Some storyboard comparisons, and interviews with Patrick Stewart, Sarah Michelle Geller, Laurence Fishburne and the filmmakers round out the special features. The disc I got has both wide-screen and full-screen versions, always a plus. (I like wide-screen movies, the kids and Mom like full-screen on their smaller TVs). You really can't go wrong with this DVD ... well, okay, I dislike the DVD cover (which I couldn't find a decent pic of on the 'Net). The cover was just too cartoony and belies the fantastic CGI animation awaiting your eyes on the disc inside. (The DVD gets 4 Raivynns).

I give TMNT a solid 5 of 5 Raivynns! You've never seen the Turtles like this!

Raivynn Rating

The Legend of Zelda: The Hero of Time

I know, double update. Don't fall over in shock.

The Legend of Zelda: The Hero of Time is a slick looking trailer, isn't it? While not big-budget, summer blockbuster, special effects laden eye candy, it looks polished, clean, and interesting.

And it is a real movie being made.

Don't believe me? Go visit the Legend of Zelda Series website.

It is an in dependant film not associated with, nor endorsed by, Nintendo. It is also apparently wallowing in delay. Even so, the trailer is something tot be proud of, and it looks no worse than the typical Sci-Fi Original Movie plopped onto your television every week or two.

I'd watch it. Not sure about paying to see this version, but on TV or free download? sure, I'm there!

Pac Man: The Movie

The premise of this parody is actually quite good. Spirits, or perhaps ghostly aliens, invade after a technology labs' experiments go horribly wrong. It is up to them to stop it ... using the newly developed Particle Acceleration Capsules!

Okay, it's not really exactly what the fake movie trailer is all about, but I sorta like my premise a little better than the one they sorta show. Still, this is hilarious. The best bit is at the very, very end!

Minesweeper - The Movie

I cannot wait for this movie to come out. It looks like it could be the best video-game-to-movie conversion EVER!!!



Click HERE for a slightly better quality version at colleghumor.com.

What do you think are the best and worst video-game-to-movie translations?

The Dangerous Book for Boys

This is for all my readers out there who have boys of their own, are still are boys at heart!



I've flipped through this at my local Best Buy (of all places). I plan on getting each of my nephews a copy of this for Christmas. It's four months away, but at least it's one present out of the way! There is a lot of cool stuff inside, as you see from the video above.

Just think how you Dad's out there could have fun and connect with your sons using the things in this book! I'll see if I can connect a bit better with my nephews. Moms can do things with their sons, too!

The Dangerous Book for Boys

My Top 5 Favorite Super-Heroes

In response to a couple super-hero related posts made in the last week or so, Jason (Steel) from the Man of Steel blog asked me who my favorite super-heroes are. So, here are my Top 5 Favorite Super-heroes ... and Why!

#1 - Spider-Man

I loved reading Spider-Man comics growing up. The adventures were exciting, the villains were nefarious, and the message of "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility" spoke to me even at that young age. (I read Spidey comics from the late '70s up until even now ...)

From Spidey's comics I learned that even though some choices are tough, and the easy way is often the wrong way, you still need to do what is right. And you need to do that even when no one is watching, or knows who is doing it. I learned to stand up for myself, and to stand up for those who cannot, even if it means discomfort, being scared, or even risking what others may think of me. It directly influenced me to help teach a Sunday School class for retarded citizens when I was 14 to 16. I wanted to help others who needed it, who couldn't help themselves, despite the teasing and taunts from my so-called peers in church.

I couldn't crawl walls, or sling webs, or punch out bad guys, but I could make the special citizens laugh with my puppets, help them color an Easter picture, patiently listen and try to understand their limited speech and desires, or calmly shrug off a violent outburst now and again.

Of course, my parents, my teachers, and my church all helped teach me these things. But kids don't like to listen to those in authority, or heed their advice ... but a comic book, something on my level ... now that I could emulate. I'd like to think in my recent life, when my sister was murdered and my mother became needful of in-house care, that those lessons were what allowed to unhesitatingly leave my high-paying job and move in to care for my mom and my nephews. Spidey would have ... except he maybe would have socked a villain in the jaw as he did.

Of course, some people would say that what I probably learned most from Spider-Man was how to be a smart-ass with the funny lines! ~.^

#2 - Hulk

Counter-point to Spider-Man was the Hulk. The beast-within mythos appealed to my young psyche. I have always felt a deep, burning rage inside me. A dark anger I dare not let loose. I didn't know its cause. I didn't know its reason. I only knew that were I to let slip the beast within me, I'd never be able to go back.

Bruce Banner exemplified these internal struggles, but he would unleash his inner monster. Destruction, confusion, and chaos reigned as the Hulk rampaged. Only the love of Betty Ross, the friendship of Rick Jones, and the compassion of others he has met along his conflicted journeys would reign in the raging monster. I vicariously romped about with the Hulk, my inner beast satiating itself on these excursions. Yet, I also learned that no matter what I became in life, no matter if I let my inner beast loose, there were people who would still love me, still care about me, still help me.

In my late teens I learned these feelings I was experiencing were from a severe chemical imbalance compounded by bi-polarism. And true to the tales in the pages of the Hulk comics, my family, my good friends, and God stuck by me, supported me, and loved me, even when I was at my worst.

#3 - Batman

Batman is just plain cool. He has no super powers. He's not invulnerable. He can't fly. He's not super strong. But he is smart, he is dedicated, he is passionate. It helps that he is also filthy, stinking rich.

I always liked that even without any super powers, Batman went out and fought crime. Tried to make a difference, to protect others. The gadgets were always cool, of course, but it was his sharp mind, his reasoning skills, his sheer intellect that truly drew me to his comics.

As with Spider-Man and Hulk, I learned something from Batman growing up. I learned to use my mind, to think. To look at things from different angles, from different perspectives. To utilize available resources to accomplish my goals. And I learned to never give up. When the chips were down, when all seems lost, there is always an option.

#4 - Kitty Pryde

Shadowcat, Ariel, Sprite ... Kitty Pryde has used a number of codenames through the years, but most people know her as plain Kitty Pryde. A member of the X-Men since 1980, she quickly became my most favorite member of the team. Her phasing ability was cool, she was smart, she was pretty, and she had a little purple dragon as a pet!

Kitty was never the most powerful of the X-Men, but she held her own. She was the heart and soul of the team. A kid-sister to many members, a friend to others, a lover to one or two. She grew from an awkward, shy, insecure waif into a confidant, intelligent, courageous leader. She was fun-loving, compassionate, and honest.

From Kitty I learned that it was okay to try new things, to grow and to change, that friendships are precious, and that you could still be a leader and have fun.

#5 - Plastic Man

Plas may seem an odd choice to be a favorite super-hero, but there he is. He's been around since 1941; a long time for any super-hero. He's undergone several revisions since DC got rights to him in 1956. Plastic Man is a fan favorite of many, has been in several incarnations of the Justice League, had his own Saturday morning cartoon, and the occasional self-titled comics.

He can stretch to seemingly indefinite lengths, into any shape, any size; even intricate constructs with moving parts. However he almost always stays his colors of red, yellow, black, and flesh colors. Plas is nigh indestructible, and possibly immortal. He may be one of the most powerful super-heroes ever.

Plastic Man used to be criminal until he was wounded and gained his powers in an acid bath. He is always cracking wise; sometimes with inappropriate comments. (Something i can relate too! ^.^;;)

I can't say I "learned" anything from Plas while growing up; I just liked him for his jokes, funny shapes, and interesting character. I suppose one could say, however, that even a bad person deserves a chance to become a good person. And, no matter how much you change, you'll always be who you are.

There you have it. My Top 5 Favorite Super-Heroes. Hulk and Spidey were hard to place, but Hulk was barely edged out as I though of this list. If I were to do a Top 10, the remaining 5 heroes would be (in no particular order): Iceman, Iron Man, Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and Sue Storm, the Invisible Woman. My favorite comic to read currently, and a super-hero making a bid to join the Top 10 ranks, would be She-Hulk!

Who are YOUR favorites, and why?

The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

Bourne is back, and he is better than ever!

A reporter unearths secrets about Jason Bourne and a black ops program codenamed Blackbriar, setting in motion events that propel the amnesiac assassin around the world. Bourne races against the enigmatic Treadstone Seventy-One to uncover the truth behind his existence.

From Moscow, to Paris, to London, to Madrid, to Tangier, and coming home to New York, Bourne battles other assassin "assets", evades local police forces, has a spectacular foot chase through the streets of Tangier, a tense game of cat-and-mouse in the crowded London Waterloo station, and several death-defying car chases and crashes.

The story is tight, and the plot never gets lost or muddled through the twists, turns, and location changes. The acting is well done, never flat, never too over the top. I loved Albert Finney as the mastermind behind Bourne's creation. Matt Damon continues his stellar portrayal of the titular assassin, even teaching us that a good book is useful for more than just reading!

The action sequences are frenetic, and filmed in that nausea inducing choppy camera style so prevalent today. I much prefer the clean action style of the prior released Live Free or Die Hard compared to the jerky, blurred, WTF-just-happened style used in Ultimatum. It is often hard to tell exactly what was going on, which in ways amplifies the violence as well as masking it.

I suppose this frantic, spinning camera-work simulates the uncertainty of a violent situation, as if it were real. The few times I've been in a fight, or a car wreck, my memories of it are certainly more jumbled than crisp and clear. It also helps keep the violence level down to achieve the PG-13 rating by making it appear more is happening, confusing viewers with sudden jerks and blurry action.

I don't recall any cursing in the movie, and if it was present, it was minor and fit well within the context of its use. A refreshing change from the expletive filled, PG-13 summer block-busters released thus far this year.

As you hear in the trailers for this film, Jason Bourne finally remembers everything about his past. He rushes to confront the people behind it, learning more than he cares to about what really happened. The ending will leave you cheering.

If you liked the first two Bourne films, you will love this one. Action, suspense, intrigue, and a captivating story will leave you breathless and wanting more.

I give The Bourne Ultimatum a reluctant 5 of 5 Raivynns! If the camera work on the action sequences were cleaner, clearer, this would have been an no-brainer five. I like to see my action, not be befuddled and nauseated by it.

Raivynn Rating

Bourne to be Wild

Okay, we've all heard the various play on words regarding the Bourne series. I couldn't resist.

I plan to see The Bourne Ultimatum later this afternoon, with a review to follow soon after. I wanted to see The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy again before seeing Ultimatum, but that was not to be. *sigh*

I am reading Robert Ludlum's original novel, The Bourne Identity. It differs greatly from the 2002 movie of the same name based upon the novel. Considering the novel is set in 1980 (the current year when it was published), much of it is dated and technology is much more advanced 20-odd years later. The movie had to alter quite a bit to stay current and relevant. Cell phones alone change the tone of the story in so many ways.

Anyhow, just to get your juices pumping for the movie, here is the trailer for The Bourne Ultimatum ...



Oh, wait! That was the Kimmel Show's trailer. Sorry!

Here's the correct one ...



Wonder who would win in a fight between Jason Bourne and James Bond?

I think, Bond fan that I am, I still would have to give the edge to Bourne. He is just more ruthless, more cold than Bond. Plus, while Bond was spitting out a pithy one-liner, Bourne would shoot him in the kneecap. (Though the "new" Bond, played by Daniel Craig in Casino Royale is more Bourne-like than Bond-like, so he would at least make it a good fight, if not a draw).

Then again, Bond could use a gadget to defeat Bourne. Sneak up on him in a crocodile submarine, laser his belt in two with his wristwatch, then knock him out with a pseudo-judo karate chop to the neck as he bends over to pull his pants up.

Still ... Chuck Norris could kick both their asses with one leg tied behind his back, blindfolded, and set ablaze with kerosene and a flamethrower!

Or so the Interent would have us believe. ~.^

Jurassic Park - Weird Al

I believe there is more "blood" in the claymation video than was actually seen in the actual movie. ^.^

This is one of my favorite songs from the Alapalooza album.

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Don't forget to vote in the poll to the right. I'd hate to send rabid pants weasels after you if you didn't.

Ode to a Superhero - Weird Al

One of Al's lesser known parodies, "Ode to a Superhero", based on Billy Joel's "Piano Man", has been very nicely cut to scenes from Spider-Man 1 and 2.

I've always loved how Al tells a movie's plot through a song parody. I'll be posting a few more this weekend.

Enjoy!

(Don't forget to vote in the Poll to the right, if you haven't already!)

I Can Still Read Your Mind

Cable was out most of the day, so here is another mathematically inclined mind trick for you. Grab pencil and paper, or a calculator ... ready?

1. Pick a number between 1 and 9
   
   
2. Subtract 5
   
   
3. Multiply by 3
   
   
4. Square the number (multiply the number by itself)
   
   
5. Add the digits of that number together, for example, if your number is 83, you would add 8 and 3 and get 11.
   
   
6. If the resulting number is less than 5, add five, otherwise subtract 4
   
   
7. Multiply by 2
   
   
8. Subtract 6
   
   
9. Assign a letter to your number. A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, E=5, etc
   
   
10. Pick a country that begins with your letter
    
    
11. Pick an animal that begins with the second letter from your country
    
    
12. Think of the traditional color of that animal ...
    

While the Order of the Elephant is the highest honor of Denmark, you won't find many real grey elephants there (outside of zoos, that is).

Now, you may have really thought outside the box and come with a brown emu, or maybe even elk. If you were really slippery, you might have come up with a black eel. But, I'm fairly sure you wound up with Denmark ... though Deutschland (Germany) is a possibility.

No, you thought of a grey elephant in Denmark. ~.^

I Can Read Your Mind

Well, OK, I can't, but this video can!



Oooooooo ... scary!

Try it with any number, even a big one. Go ahead, we'll wait while you get a calculator.

Now go try this on your friends!

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If you haven't, please vote in the poll! ==========>

Superman Doomsday

Superman Doomsday Trailer

I cannot wait for this!

I have the original Superman Doomsday graphic novels (somewhere), and eagerly read the story when it first came out around 1993 starting with "Death of Superman", then "A World Without Superman", and then the return of the Man of Steel. This Direct to DVD movie follows all three major plot lines from the comics, covering three years of comic continuity.

There are changes from the source material, however.

Doomsday doesn't beat the snot out the Justice League before tangling with Big Blue. And, we will not see the four pretenders who take up Supes' mantle (Cyborg Superman, Steel, Superboy, and Last Son of Krypton). Those two are the biggest deviations. Apparently, in this version, Superman is the only hero on Earth.

The DVD will also be PG-13, so expect more visceral violence than in previous DC animations. It should be interesting to see what they show and do.

Villains in the DVD will be Lex Luthor, Doomsday, and Superman himself. (He fights his darker side). Toyman is also listed on imdb.

Casting includes Adam Baldwin as Superman, James Marsters as Lex Luther, Anne Heche as Lois Lane, and a few other voices you might recognize from numerous voice overs in animation.

I have high hopes for this movie. It has got to be better than the enjoyable, yet lackluster Superman Returns. We'll find out in a couple of months.

Superman Doomsday will be available on 8.17.07

You can see more at the Official Superman Doomsday Website!

You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry!

I love comics. I love super-heroes.

Hulk is one of my most favorite super-heroes. Sometimes on the side of angels, sometimes not. Always looking out for himself.

Hulk has gone through so many incarnations, so many vastly different looks, it can be difficult to decide which one to do a particular movie on.

Most people know the iconic Lou Ferrigno Hulk from the television series, The Incredible Hulk. I loved the series while growing up, even if Hulk was too skinny, too short, and not green enough. Compared to my beloved Hulk comics, that is.

They got one thing right, however ... the facial features. Savage Hulk is my absolute favorite look for the Emerald Giant. Lou captured the bestial Beast-Within appearance I have always felt Hulk was best suited for.

The 2003 movie, Hulk, used pure CGI to create Hulk's face (and body), though it did seem extrapolated from actor Eric Bana's actual facial features.

I enjoyed the movie for what it was, but felt Hulk's portrayal was overdone in a few ways. The biggest of which was his growing to huge, tree-sized proportions. It makes sense in a way. He'd need a massive frame to carry and utilize the correspondingly massive musculature. He did keep to the Hulk maxim of growing stronger the angrier he got. His face was very humanized, less bestial which gave him a humanity for the audience to relate to, but detracted from the overall monster-inside-us counter-point director Ang Lee seemed to be trying to make.

The fight scenes, excepting the final battle, were fantastic. Pure super-hero beauty on screen, pure Hulk. I was even excited to see they kept Hulk's leaping miles at time in. The middle of the movie was the best, while he fights the Army and escapes from the underground bunker. I even enjoyed the comic-style transitions between scenes Ang Lee utilized.

Unfortunately, Hulk didn't do as well as hoped, and was panned by many critics, both film and comic buffs alike.

The upshot is a new, Hulk movie is going forward. Not a sequel, but a re-start. A re- imagining of the Verdant Behemoth with new cast, and radically different look for the eponymous title character, The Incredible Hulk. I'm stoked after seeing this clip from Comic-Con!



Edward Norton will be playing Bruce Banner, with Liv Tyler as Betty Ross and William Hurt as Gen. "Thunderbolt" Ross. Tim Roth will be playing Emil Blonsky, which means we may actually see some hero vs. villain action in this movie with Hulk going up against the Abomination!

The Incredible Hulk is currently slated for a July 13th, 2008 release.

Poll Position

I've added another Poll to the right side of the screen, bottom of the first section. You may choose multiple answers.

I did this Poll for several reasons. First, I finally found out why I could not adjust my blogger layout (and how to work around it by removing the 2 from the www2 URL prefix). B, I woke up with a bad head cold and went back to sleep after taking the kids to camp, reawakening at about noon-thirty in time for a bologna sandwich lunch. And, 3, I never know what to put up, really.

You gotta admit, it beats having another Fart post!

If you inadvertently came here looking for information about the 1982 Namco arcade game, you're not entirely out of luck. You can watch the original Pole Position commercial (love that theme song!) or download a version to play right on your computer!

And just because I wubs joo all ...