Hiatus

As you may or may not have noticed, posting has been sporadic the last week or so. Blogging has turned into a chore more than something fun to do. I'm burned out.

Therefore, I am taking an extended break from blogging. During this time I will see if the desire to continue returns, changes to something else, or stays gone.

Thanks to all who visit me regularly, I will update the Roost in a week with what I've decided.

God bless, and play nice!

Halo - The Future of Gaming

You'd think this is a possibility with all the Halo3 tie-ins.

Have you ever played Halo? Will you?

I haven't. I'm not much for first-person-shooters. Especially player-vs-player ones. I just suck. Still, Halo3 looks to be graphically beautiful, and there is something a bit cathartic about blowing away digital enemies. I'm just not going to drop $350 on an Xbox 360 then another $50 or more just for a single game.

People are doing it, though.

Golden Shower Tree

This was taken at Busch Gardens Tampa. The descriptive plaque would lead you to beleive the tree's name is taken from the golden flowers which bloom in Spring.

They lie.

The tree is filled with incontinent howler monkeys and is a trap for unwary park visitors.

Took me twelve trips on the water rides to get the smell out. =/

"God" Responds to Lawsuit

Yesterday I told you about State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha filing a lawsuit against God.

Today, God responded.

John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha stated a filing from God "... miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here - poof!"

"God" claims that Chambers' point that anybody can sue anybody simply doesn't apply in His case. Earthly laws cannot be applied to Him, and the court lacks jurisdiction. "God" goes on to state that blaming Him for human oppression ans suffering misses the point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is My greatest gift to you," according to the response filing.

I wonder if the Almighty will pull in the Devil as a material witness? Or, would he be too much a hostile witness?

Nebraska State Senator Sues God

Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha is suing God.

The outspoken Nebraska state senator is attempting to make a point about frivolous lawsuits. And this one is about as frivolous as they get.

Chambers' suit claims God has made terroristic threats against constituents, inspired fear, and "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." The state senator also claims God has caused "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes."

Even though Chambers has criticized Christians in the past, his lawsuit is not really an attack on the Almighty. Rather, it is in response to a recent federal suit against a judge who barred the use of the words "rape" and "victim" from a sexual assault trial.

I'm wondering if God will have to swear an oath on the Bible?

And, does anyone else think the fan in the background of the picture of Sen. Chambers sorta look like a halo effect?

Go to Seattle, Ride the SLUT

This is one of the funniest WTF stories I've seen in a while.

The South Lake Union Trolley in Seattle has the unfortunate nickname. It was quickly amended to South Lake Union Streetcar once the unfortunate acronym was realized, but the damage has been done. You can read more about it here.

What makes it even more hilarious, to me, is the trolleys are being installed by area developers Vulcan, Inc. (Who claim the SLUT acronym was never true, a new urban myth).

So, technically, Seattle will soon have numerous Vulcan SLUTs running about!

Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Headache

No blog today. Near migraine level headache. Too much pain to even look for fart jokes.

See you tomorrow.

Squirrel Ninja Warrior

I love Ninja Warrior on G4. (Called Sasuke in its original Japanese format.) This little squirrel has got them all beat!

If you've never seen Ninja Warrior (Sasuke), here is the Japanese original airing of only the second man to ever beat the course. (The course changes somewhat each competition.)



I foresee a fully Americanized version on the horizon. Though I do love the Japanese version. They have the best television!

Sure beats American Gladiators!

Which is making a comeback. =/

Toot-Tone: The Greatest Invention Ever?

The audio is a little soft, you may have to turn up the volume slightly.


I'll never hear a ring-tone the same way again!

Thinking on it, I wonder if there are ring tones that make fart noises? What a great prank that would be to download it into your friends phone, set it to default, then call him when he's in a public place!

5min - Life Videopedia

I just heard about this new website called 5min. It is a video sharing site that is for sharing knowledge and how-to's rather than cute animals, groin shots, or Internet freakology.

Here is how 5min describe themselves:

5min is a place to find short video solutions for practical questions and a place for people to share their knowledge.

The idea behind 5min is very simple: any solution can be visually explained in no more than 5 minutes. Our goal is to create the first communal Life Videopedia allowing users from all over the globe to contribute their knowledge by sharing visual guides in areas such as arts, business, fashion, sports, health, tech, food, and much more.

5min's basic philosophy is that everybody is an expert in something and has something to teach others, so why not share that knowledge for the better of the whole? That's why we created a place to gather that collective knowledge onto one platform.

You can read more at 5min's About page, and even *Gasp* watch a 5min video about them!

Unlike YouTube, Google Video, or other video sharing sites, you cannot embed 5min videos to a webpage, though you can send them to your mobile phone. The reason is 5min's proprietary Smart Player that is much more robust than typical online video players. With Smart Player viewers can slo-mo the action, zoom in and out, and more.

I like this idea. Having useful information in one place, rather than buried inside a pile of pseudo-entertainment, is a great thing!

Categories include: Arts, Fashion, Food, Games, Health, Music, Spiritual, Sports, Life Tips and many more. Thousands of videos are already available.

Some of the more interesting videos:

How to Survive a Knife Attack - Especially if it's a rubber knife, you can do it all in slow motion, and the knife-wielder is a passive behemoth!

How to Tie a Du-Rag - 'Cuz you never know when you might need to fly those gang colors.

How to quit playing WoW! - So you can spend more time looking at Hillary Duff Pr0n and researching how to create explosive devices!

How to Wash a Cat - This is followed by the How-to video "How to Treat Infected Cat Scratches".

Tips for Managing Your Zune - for all 3 non-iTunes users out there. You know who you are!

Who says online videos can't be educational?

The Guild - Episodes 1 - 3

This is for all my gaming buddies:

The Guild - Episode 1: Wake-Up Call


The Guild - Episode 2: Zaboo'd


The Guild - Episode 3: The Macro Problem


Yes, that is Felicia Day, Vi from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A couple others look vaguely familiar, but none of their names (from the credits) ring a bell.

Anyhow, funny stuff!

And eerily familiar overtones. o.O

Live Optical Illusions

The brass nuts illusion is freaky! It works on the same inverted principle as the dragon video below.

Iron Man Trailer

Iron Man is one of my favorite super-heroes. I used to love the whole playboy millionaire / super-hero / flawed individual thing he had going. And his armor suits were freaking cool!

On 05-02-08 Iron Man will burst onto the big screen. Robert Downey Jr. is an inspired casting choice to play Tony Stark aka Iron Man. John Favreau directs ol' Shellhead's debut picture. Many other big name stars are also on board: Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard, Hilary Swank, Jeff Bridges, and the incomparable Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury!

I'd advise going to Apple's website to view the trailer in a crisp, clean Quicktime or HD format.

If you don't wanna go there, the trailer has already shown up on YouTube. Not sure how long it'll be available, but here is a link to one below:



I love how Black Sabbath's Iron Man made it into the trailer. Makes me wanna see it even more!

It may surprise you to know there is already a fantastic, full length Iron Man movie available on DVD. The third in Marvel's animated features, The Invincible Iron Man is a surprisingly good adventure and origin story.

Iron Man's arch-enemy Mandarin is in this one, though continuity is much different than in the comics. His origin, battles with powerful magic imbued statues, a love interest, and more armor action than you fire a repulsor at will keep you glued to your television. Easily one of my favorite super-hero movies ever.

I'll likely watch this once or twice before next May. My anticipation level for the Iron Man movie is running high! I can't wait!!

Smallville Season 7 Teaser

For all you Smallville fans out there!

Internet People (Frederator)

"An animated tribute to the internet people of the world, wherever you may be. Animated by Dan Meth, with music by Dan Meth and Micah Frank." A Meth Minute 39 show.

How to Untangle Earphones

Below is an easy, step-by-step video on how to untangle earphones from MP3 players and other devices.



I wanted to post this last night, but was too tired. This morning I find out it's one of those new viral videos, even getting featured on G4's Attack of the Show. Even the YouTube video jumped up almost 40,000 hits since I saw it and wanted to post.

*sigh*

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! ~.^

Hooked on Phone-ics

When people ask you for your telephone number, how do you answer? (assuming you are American ... other countries have different exchanges and sequences).

Most people will give the number in the standard sequence of three then four. As in one two three ... pause ... four five six seven. Or, with apologies to Tommy Tutone, 867 - 5309.

Other socially acceptable ways are to combine the last four digits to make two pairs of numbers. Thus, eight six seven ... pause ... fifty-three oh-nine.

Of course, when adding the Area Code most people say it in a three, three, four. Or, 555 - 867 - 5309.

Then you get the oddballs. The freaks of nature who do not have telephonic rhythm. Those technological throw-backs who recite their numbers in ways to make your ears twitch and your brain bleed.

Case in point, a man at the doctor's office where one of the kids went for a check-up and shots ( a whole 'nother story, that) was giving his number to the receptionist. This was how he gave it:

Fifty-five, fifty-eight, six-seventy-five, thirty, nine.

That's not his real number, obviously. I am again using the "Jenny" number, but his did end with a zero and a nine. (I should use his real number and hope my readers call him and set him straight on proper phone-number-giving etiquette!)

Even were you to write the numbers as he states them, you'd end up a number short.

55 58 675 39 (555-867-539_)

He knew what he meant. He knew that thirty and nine were two separate numbers. But they sounded as one ... thirty-nine.

The receptionist asked him multiple times to repeat his number with the same result. She stayed calm, the freak of telephony was getting agitated. After the third time repeating his screwball litany of numbers, he acidly asked the girl if she knew how to write numbers down. To her credit, she answered she was having difficulty typing them in and asked him to write the phone number on a scrap paper so as to make sure she did not make a mistake.

I stayed out of it, though I itched to storm up to him and blast him on how to give a phone number like a normal human being. I gritted my teeth and was restrained by my mother's hand on my knee. Oh, if I'd been that receptionist ...

So, after that debacle, she asked for his work number, if any.

Mistake ...

Three fives, eighty-six, seventy-five, three-oh-nine

Not even the same asinine cadence as before!!! (This one didn't end in zero nine).

I understand this may be the only way this guy can remember his phone numbers; by grouping the numbers in those sequences. It just goes against all things natural. Like gnarled fingernails scraping down the telephonic chalkboard.

The receptionist was onto the guy though, and seemed to get the number in one go. She was still nice and pleasant, still sitting with a smile on her face. I was contemplating if I rammed my cellphone in his ear if he'd get the whole numerical telephone sequence thing or not.

He wasn't any better when it came to his home address ... One hundred one thousand three hundred fifty two Ear Lick Arr Dee.

Wha?

First off, again with the odd numerical sequencing. Most people would have said one-oh-one, three-fifty-two ... or one-hundred-one, three-fifty-two ... even one-oh, one-three, five-two. Not this guy. He has to give it in long form notation.

And the road he was speaking of is Ehrlich (sounds like Uhr-lick) Road. I suppose calling it Ear Lick may be some cutesy family name for it, but I've lived near that road for most of my life and never heard it called that by anyone. And it was not an accent thing. He spoke Ear Lick as if it were two separate words.

Don't get me started on the whole Arr Dee thing. =/

By this time I was not agitated (and really wasn't as bad as I make myself out to be ... poetic license ~.^). But I was shaking my head in disbelief that anyone could be so ... abnormal on simple things like phone numbers and addresses.

Maybe it was karma was the whole pizza thing the other day. >_>

Anyhow, as a treat for listening to my rant about telephonic etiquette, here is 867-5309/Jenny by Tommy Tutone done in clay!


And as an extra special treat, you can read about the guy who tried finding Jenny at any 867-5309 number in the US.

Heroes, Ninjas, and Critters

I spent the morning watching the first 7 episodes of Heroes on DVD. I loved the show when it came out, and watched the first 4 as they aired. As the weeks went on, I found myself involved with my Rebel Dragon guildmates in Guild Wars, then World of Warcraft. Heroes fell to the wayside, and I vowed to get the DVD when it came out.

I remembered I had not posted to the Roost when I received several oddball news links from my best Internet buddy, Johnny Crash. (I'd link to his blog, but he hasn't updated in months. *sigh*) And since I was watching Ninja Warrior with the family when Crash sent the links, it was not until now I actually got around to posting.

Thanks to him, I am able to give you a link about a Vicious Dog Pack Attack on a Florida Gator, originally posted on the always interesting, often funny Crazy for Critters blog. Beware! The chilling image of this horrific animal battle may be too much for the squeamish.

Small Medium at Large

No, this post isn't about a short stature psychic on the lam.

It's about my call to Pizza Hut this holiday weekend to order lunch. The girl answering the local delivery hub's phone was pleasant and cheery. She seemed happy to take my order and things went smoothly until she asked me what size pizza I wanted.

"Small," I confidently answered.

"We only have Medium, Large, and Extra-Large," pizza girl informed me.

Now, seems to me if you have 3 sizes of pizza, the smallest of those would be Small, not Medium. I rolled my eyes and and clarified my statement.

"I'd like the smallest size you have."

"That would be Medium," she shot back, still with a smile in her voice.

"Okay, a small Medium."

"Ma'am, Medium is our smallest." I thought I detected a smidgen of exasperation creeping into her tone.

"Fine. Medium then," I carefully told her. I swear she sighed in relief. "Your small Medium pizza."

I counted to three before she replied. It sounded like through gritted teeth, yet still with a now forced cheeriness. "The Medium pizza is not small. It's pretty big."

"Oh!" I exclaimed excitedly. "So the small Medium is large?"

"Um ..." I knew I had her on the ropes then.

"Yeah, that sounds great. I want the small Medium large pizza." You could feel the tension through the phone receiver. Her mental cogs were churning, her eyes were rolling, her lips were pressed thin, and her finger were tightening around the pen, threatening to snap it. Or, so I envisioned.

"Ma'am, was that a Medium or Large size pizza you wanted? We don't have Small."

"Yes."

"Um ..."

"The small Medium large pizza."

"Maybe I should get my manager?"

"No need," I smiled into the phone, "We can work this dilemma out, I'm sure. I want a Medium pizza, which is your smallest size, yet is still pretty large."

"You want Medium size?"

"That's what I've been saying."

"Okay," she paused. "I'm sorry ... for the ... confusion."

"Don't worry about it. A small Medium large is exactly what I want. I'm glad we're on the same page now."

"Um ... yeah. Thanks. Is there anything else today?" Cheer was guardedly slipping back into her voice.

"Yeah, A pan pizza, mushrooms, onions, sausage, bell peppers."

"What size did you want that?" I'm sure the question slipped out in rote fashion.

"Medium Large, please."

I got at least 5 seconds of silence on that one.

I do so love boring Monday holidays! ~.^

So how was your Labor Day?

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (And This Squirrel)